f a n f i c t i o n n a v i g a t i o n
when the rain begins to fall
don't dream it's over
dare to dream
never underestimate fate
christmas treats
awards
recommendations
Part 31
I’m trying to run, but I can’t move my feet. I scream, but no sound leaves my mouth. He’s there again, leering down at me, eyes crazy and glazed over.
He’ll hurt me.
He’ll kill me.
I know. I can see it in his eyes and I just know. Terror cuts through me, robbing me of my ability to breathe, to move, to think. Oh please god no.
The scene shifts and he’s lying in front of me in the dirt, eyes cold and dead. I killed him. Oh my god, I killed him. I shake my head, backing away from his body. No, no, no…
When my eyes snap open I’m disorientated for a moment. Then it all comes back to me and I become aware of my surroundings…Alec’s warmth, his arms wrapped around me, the sound of his heartbeat. I release a shuddering breath, tightening my grip on Alec. I’m so glad he’s here. In the darkness of the night and in the wake of a nightmare, I can admit it. Progress, I guess.
Suddenly Alec shifts and lifts his head. “Hey, you okay?” His voice and movement startles me. I wasn’t expecting him to be awake.
“Um, yeah.” But my voice quivers, giving me away. “I just, um…bad dream, you know.”
“About…?” He trails off, not wanting to say it out loud, and I’m grateful, because thinking the words is bad enough. I don’t need to hear them out loud. Don’t need to hear how I killed someone, even if it was in self defense. Don’t need to hear how that person almost raped me, almost killed me before I could stop him by taking his life instead.
I nod and Alec tightens his grip on me, kissing the top of my head. He just holds me for a few minutes and then he begins to talk. He tells me funny little anecdotes about his boss Normal and his co-worker Sketchy. He goes into the outrageous scams he’s pulled off, his career as a cage fighter, the incident with Mia, the girl from Psy-Ops. He tells me about the things he’s stolen from right under the nose of clueless people who had too much money anyway.
It doesn’t take long before I’m smiling, then laughing ever so softly. Doesn’t take long till his voice lulls me back to sleep either, and when it does, I’m at peace again.
-------
Another morning after. Just not, you know…that kind of morning after.
The fact frustrates me only slightly. It is sort of nice though, despite me being horny as hell with no end in sight and all that. But I’m enjoying this new-found closeness a lot more than I thought I would…or could.
Okay, so ‘enjoying’ is the wrong word…too positive for little miss cynical here. It doesn’t make me as uncomfortable as I had expected. I’m not totally freaking out because of it. That’s something, for my standards at least.
I guess Alec not pursuing the physical side of our relationship put some of my fears to rest. Up to a certain point, that was all we had. But now, without it, I really know that there’s more to it for him than just sex. Just like there’s more to it for me.
Woah…did I just really think that? More progress. This better not become a habit.
I mean, it’s not like I really thought this was some elaborated scam to keep me in his bed or something, that he was lying when he told me that…you know what I mean. But having some proof…I think I needed that. Actions speak for themselves while words can mean anything or nothing and often, they don’t mean a thing.
Seems like this whole trusting-thing is turning out more difficult than I’d ever expected. Which is saying a lot since I pretty much figured that it would be a bitch.
“You know, if you lift that spoon another inch it might actually reach your mouth.” Alec’s voice interrupts my train of thoughts.
Huh? Then I look down. My spoon is floating in midair, somewhere between my mouth and the bowl of cereal in my hand. It’s been there for a few minutes now. Guess I got a bit caught up in my thoughts there.
“You okay?” he asks me, eyebrow raised, the look in his eyes somewhere between amused and concerned.
“Fine. Just…thinking.” Then I turn my attention back to the cartoons we’re watching.
This is so second grade, eating cereal that consists of 90% sugar while being camped out in front of the TV watching cartoons. Next we’ll start passing notes that read ‘Do you want to go steady?’ with boxes to cross labeled ‘yes’, ‘no’ and ‘I don’t know’.
But since Alec didn’t really have the chance to do this when he was a kid, I figured now was as good a time as any to catch up on that.
Besides, Dexter’s Laboratory rocks.
Finally eating that damn spoon of cereal, I set my bowl aside. Any more sugar and I’ll overdose. Then, not even realizing what I’m doing, I settle back against Alec. He presses a quick kiss against the crown of my head and I actually smile.
Then I realize what just happened here. This whole thing is kind of freaking me out. You know, like those Pleasantville-families in car commercials. But, as hard as it is to admit it, at the same time it’s kinda nice.
I almost jump out of my skin when the apartment door is suddenly wrenched open and M corms in. Alec’s body tenses for a brief second, but he relaxes when he sees who it is.
“You know Max, here in the outside world, it’s considered polite to knock before entering someone’s apartment.” Alec’s tone is somewhere between teasing and mocking. Wonder how many lectures Alec had to listen to concerning the proper conduct in the real world.
M doesn’t reply for a second, she just stares at me. I raise my eyebrows in question but she doesn’t react. Blinking a few times, she opens her mouth, closes it again.
Then she finally finds her voice. “Um, do you have those hard drives I wanted you to get yesterday?”
And she’s still staring at me, head tilted, the queerest look on her face. What, no witty come back? Losing your touch, M? Me being here can’t be that surprising, now can it?
“Over there in the corner,” Alec tells her. After another moment or two, M tears her gaze away from me and heads over to one of the corners where a bulky old backpack is lying on the floor. She picks it up like it’s nothing before heading towards the door. After another glance in our direction and a quick ‘thanks’ she’s gone.
Strange. Very strange, even for M.
Transgenics. I’ll never figure them out.
-------
When I get back to Joshua’s, the first thing I do is to take a cold shower. I seriously need to cool off. Alec walking around in his boxers all morning without doing much more than kissing me on the forehead twice is too much to take. I am by God not the kind of person who is generally ruled by their hormones, but seriously, have you seen Alec shirt-less? It took all of my self restrain not to just jump him.
But I can’t do that. I’m not going to be the first to give in. I really want to see how long he’s going to go through with this. Considering that Manticore drilled self-control and discipline into his brain for twenty or so years, I’m afraid that this is going to last a lot longer than I’d like. But hell, if he can stand it then so can I.
Besides, giving in now would sort of go against the purpose of this whole thing. Every guy can go without sex for a week or two, it wouldn’t prove anything.
But damn it, I need something to distract me. Being horny sucks big time.
Hmm, I could redecorate. My room is butt-ugly and it would be a good way to practice my powers. Not like I could ruin much in this dump of a house. The only way of making it worse would be blowing it up and my powers aren’t strong enough for that…I think.
-------
Okay, so I got kind of carried away. I started with my room, fixing all holes, tears, cracks and stains in walls, ceiling and floor. Then I ‘painted’ the walls a bluish gray, leaving two feet at the top as well as the ceiling white.
Or rather, making it white.
Before, it looks like dirt-covered mustard. Yuck. The carpet is now cream colored instead of the exclusive 99-stains version I had before and the window frames and door are a dirty white. And I only accidentally blasted at things twice. That’s a new record.
Then I started fixing my furniture, re-coloring things as I went. Next I moved on the bathroom, then I fixed up the kitchen. By the time I’m done I’m pretty much drained. That’s when I notice that it’s dark outside. Woah, where did all the time go? I glance at my watch. It’s almost 8pm. And I’m hungry. In more than one way.
Okay, so maybe this whole ‘let’s distract ourselves from our horniness’ thing didn’t quite work out. I sort of didn’t realize that once I was done doing whatever I was doing to distract myself I’d be back at square one. Not even my exhaustion has any kind of impact. Ugh.
I go back to my room, turn on my light, and the light bulb blows through with a pop. I groan. Great, just great. Heading back into the kitchen, I cram around in the cupboards. There should be some light bulbs here, I bought some last week. Finally find them, go back to my room. I get the light bulb out of it’s box and then look around for something to step on to screw it in.
Hmm, I’d rather be screwing something else.
Bad Liz, I chastise myself. Really, since when is that all I ever think about? Since you’re not getting any, a voice in the back of my mind mutters.
Okay, back to what I wanted to do. Screw. The light bulb! I’m talking about the light bulb, okay? Is the bed high enough?
Hmm, the bed…that’s where Alec and I had sex for the first time. And the second time. And that one time after he stormed into the bathroom while I was soaking in the tub.
I remember every little detail about that time…all the times actually, but especially about that time. The way he climbed into the tub with me, teasing me until I thought I would explode…and did. Later on moving it to my room, our battle for dominance when in the end we both lost control.
Suddenly the light bulb in my hand starts to glow and I shriek, dropping it onto the floor.
“What the fuck was that?” a voice asks me from the doorway. Alec’s voice.
I turn to him, stare at him, eyes wide in shock. He has a matching look on his face.
The only thing that comes to my mind is ‘my thoughts exactly’. What the fuck was that?
Chapter: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43
back