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Part 33
Okay, so the decision might have been easy…more or less, but doing this is anything but. I mean, seriously, how do you do this? How do you tell someone this kind of thing?
With Maria and Alex, it was different. It wasn’t my secret back then. It wasn’t necessarily my choice either, seeing how both were threatening to go to the Sheriff if I didn’t tell them the truth.
But now, this is all about me. This is my choice. And I just don’t know how to do it. I have no idea how to break the news gently.
Is that even possible? Probably not.
Knowing Alec, he’ll take it comparatively well. He’s not exactly your average male himself and he’s seen things a lot freakier than me.
But there’s this part of me that’s still scared to death of his reaction, as unreasonable as that might be. My mind tells me that I’m being stupid, that this won’t change things between us, but my heart just doubts and questions and worries.
As I said, stupid.
Then I look at Alec. And I can’t help myself. I just blurt it out. That I was shot, that I was healed, that I was changed.
He just stares at me. Then he blinks. “Come again?”
I repeat what I just told him, that I was healed by an alien hybrid two years ago after being shot and that it changed me.
I guess this is not what he expected. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t show any kind of reaction, not through his body language, not through changes in his facial expression. And so I just keep talking because he’s making me nervous and I tend to talk too much when I’m nervous.
“It was Max.”
Still no reaction.
“He placed his hand over the bullet wound in my stomach, told me to look at him and then he healed me and apparently passed along his powers in the process.”
Nothing. He’s really starting to make me nervous. And so I start babbling even more.
“For some reason that is completely beyond my grasp, I have the powers of all four of them. The aliens I mean. There are four…in that set at least. Normally every alien…hybrid actually…has a special power plus some general powers, but I have those and all their special powers, plus my own. This.” I lift my hand, sending a spark into the air. Wait a minute, how did I just do that?
“You’re an alien?” Alec asks me, distracting me from my own mini-lightshow. Disbelief doesn’t even begin to describe his tone.
“No. I’m a changed human,” I explain patiently.
“A changed human?” There’s that disbelief again.
I nod.
He gives me a look. “Are you kidding me?”
“No,” I insist, only slightly exasperated. Geez, first he wants to know the truth, then he doesn’t believe me. Typical.
So I start at the beginning, giving him a run-down of the main events. The crash, the pods, the aliens hatching. The shooting, being healed, developing powers. Okay, so I left out a few things, but none of that is really relevant…or so I tell myself. Besides, he already knows the important stuff anyway.
And Alec still doesn’t seem to believe me. So I begin to demonstrate. I change the color of my shirt, change the shape of a lamp shade near by, blast a pillow. He seems impressed. And slowly…slowly he seems to come around.
He asks some questions about my powers, I answer them the best I can. And then silence.
“So you’re an alien?” he asks again, just without the disbelief this time. Or maybe it was a statement. Not sure.
“Changed human,” I correct. It’s a technicality, but one that I insist upon.
“That’s…not what I expected.”
“What did you expect?”
“Don’t know…some crazy story about gypsies or witches or mutants. Not aliens though…definitely not aliens.”
“You’d prefer me to be a crazy gypsy?” I ask, swallowing down the questions I really want to ask…whether he’s freaked out…if he’s scared, disgusted, if this changes things. But I’m afraid of his answer and so I don’t ask, because I can’t.
But somehow…he seems to get what I’m asking just the same.
He smiles. And his smile says it all. I mean, seriously, a smile from Alec…not exactly an every-day occurrence.
“No,” he tells me. And then he kisses me. Just a light, sweet kiss that lasts only a few precious seconds, but it gets the message across. “I kind of like you the way you are.”
And while that is hardly a sappy, heartfelt, romantic speech, it makes me feel better than those ever did or could.
-------
I raise my eyebrows at Alec. “It’s a motorcycle.”
He nods. And smirks. “How very observant of you.”
“Shut up,” I mutter rolling my eyes. “Why’d you have a new bike?”
“It’s not mine.”
“Then who’s is it?”
“Yours.”
“No, seriously.”
“Yours.”
“Mine?”
“And here I was getting worried that you’re not capable of grasping the meaning behind the word ‘yours’.”
I ignore his teasing. “Mine?” I say again, emphasizing the disbelief.
Alec shrugs. “High time you stopped running around Seattle all by yourself in the middle of the night.” Something in his eyes, in his tone tells me that this is the real reason for the bike. He doesn’t want something like the thing with…you know…to happen again. Not that I do.
I definitely haven’t been comfortable running around in Seattle ever since. I am beyond paranoid, looking over my shoulder every few seconds, jumping at every movement, afraid of every shadow. It’s nerve-racking and exhausting and I’m sick of it.
I also haven’t been sleeping well ever since. More often than not I’m ripped out of sleep in the middle of the night by nightmares that leave me shivering and bathed in sweat, not to mention scared to death. And since Alec and I obviously no longer have a physical relationship, he’s not really there that much to comfort me like he did that first night.
I miss him. A lot actually.
I miss touching him and tasting him and I miss the way he feels inside me. But I’ll be damned if I’m the first to change that. He wants to prove something, fine, let him. I’m not going to beg him to sleep with me. If he can live without it, so can I.
Denial is such a beautiful thing.
“You can’t just give me a bike,” I tell him, my voice more aggravated than intended. Not getting any really seems to make me aggressive. I’m normally not the type to spoil for a fight, but if this is the only kind of action I’m getting, I’ll take it.
“Why not?”
“Because! I can’t accept that.”
“Sure you can.”
“It’s stolen, right? Don’t even try to deny it. You expect me to accept a gift that consists of a stolen bike?”
“But it’s good stealing. They were bad guys. Drug dealers I think. We relieved them of their money for TC and I thought ‘What the hell, take the bike as well’.”
“Good stealing? There is no such thing as good stealing! What kind of person comes up with such a twisted justification anyway?”
“Max, actually. Speaking of the devil, she has the same bike,” Alec is telling me.
“If that’s supposed to be a sales pitch you might want to change your strategy.”
“Well, you gotta admit that she has taste…at least when it comes to her transportation of choice.”
I merely raise my eyebrow at that.
“Ah, come on Liz…I know you’re good at pretending to not be tempted…” he lets that hang there for just a second or two “…but I don’t buy it. You want it. Admit it.”
I swallow. Are we still talking about the bike. “I don’t even know how to ride that thing.”
Another shrug. “I’ll teach you.”
I’m still doubtful and if his next words are any indication, Alec can sense that.
“You know, I once overheard Max saying that there’s nothing more arousing than having so much…power between your legs.” His tone is sultry, his look daring. How can someone who’s not getting any be so comfortable with suggestive come-ons? Not like he’s going to go through with it. Grr…have I mentioned how frustrating that is?
I lick my lips and somehow I can’t help but notice how Alec’s gaze suddenly seems to cling to my mouth. So Mister Stamina isn’t quite as unaffected by the current dry spell as he likes to pretend. I have to suppress a smirk.
Two can play that game.
-------
Oh god, just take me now.
Day number five of my driving lessons. I’m slowly getting a hang of it, it’s actually kind of fun. And…liberating.
I always used to think that people with motorcycles were completely crazy to put up with the extra risks just to have an impractical, non-weather proof vehicle that has to be uncomfortable in the long run. But slowly, I’m getting it.
It’s exciting, simple as that.
When riding it, it’s like being taken over by this really strong feeling of delusions of grandeur. And that just feels amazing. Makes you feel powerful because you’re controlling something that is powerful in itself, taming it almost. And as much as I hate to admit it, Max wasn’t completely wrong with the having-so-much-power-between-your-legs thing. There’s something about being in control of a motorcycle that’s definitely hot and with a sexual undertone that’s impossible to ignore.
That’s not the reason I’m yearning for death though. That’s all Alec’s fault, and I bet he’d even be proud if he knew.
He’s driving me crazy and I swear, he’s doing it on purpose. All those little ‘accidental’ touches, the looks, his body brushing against my body in places that he has no business brushing against. Well, not if he’s not going to go through with it, that is.
Okay, so maybe I’m not exactly behaving myself either. But why should I? Driving Alec crazy is much too easy and much to tempting to resist.
Besides, if I just sit there and let him play his games without ever paying him back for all his nasty teasing he’s never going to cave. And I can’t let that happen because God knows I need to get laid soon. Horniness sucks big time.
-------
I’ve never been to Jam Pony before. Not that that’s unusual seeing how Alec and I had a very, very strange relationship so far that consisted mainly of fighting and having sex. But things have changed, obviously, so here I am.
Looking around, I realize that I can really see Alec working here. Despite the rather shabby look of the place, or maybe because of it, it has a laid-back atmosphere that Alec would just thrive in. The people seem to be chilling out more than working, despite Alec’s boss threatening with dismissals and shouting ‘bip-bip-bit’ every five seconds.
Speaking of which, he’s the one who told me that Alec was on a run but that he should be back any minute while giving me very strange looks.
I hope Alec gets here soon, his boss is seriously freaking me out. He keeps giving me these sad looks, shaking his head and mumbling something about another heart being broken by his golden boy. Whatever that’s supposed to mean.
And then I glance up to see Alec finally walking in the door…with Mole behind him, pointing a shotgun at his head.
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