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Part 43
I’m not sure how I expected my parents to react to the news that their formerly very much human daughter had turned into something straight out of The X-Files. I tried to ease them into it as gently as possible, but in the end, there was no gentle way of breaking it to them.
A part of me was hoping that the joy over having me home again would distract them from the shock of my revelation.
No such luck.
At first they think I’m lying, making up this ridiculous story to avoid having to tell them the truth.
Then they think I’m crazy.
But the more I tell them about all the things that happened in the past two years, the more they seem to realize that a lot of things suddenly make sense. All the missing pieces just slide into place. The lies, the vanishing, the worrying, the fights. Suddenly, there’s an explanation for all of it.
And so I tell them everything, leaving out nothing, not stopping until I get to the part about leaving Roswell. I decide that that’s enough information, at least for now.
Finding out that your daughter is a changed human who spent the better part of the past two years running from the FBI and alien enemies is probably already too much for one night. Telling them that I’m dating a transgenic and therefore involved in that whole mess as well would most likely give them a heart attack, something I would like to avoid so shortly after our reunion.
So I shut up and wait for them to digest everything I just told them.
They just sit there, staring at me, staring at each other, staring at the table. I can see dozens of emotions playing over their faces – shock and worry and anger. They seem confused and appalled and upset. I have no idea how to make this easier on them.
Because despite all these negative emotions so clearly visible in their features, never once do I doubt their unconditional love for me. This won’t change anything between us. I know it won’t. If anything, it will bring us together again, make us as close as we used to be.
When my mom finally speaks, it’s not what I expect. “Jesus Christ, Liz! What were you thinking not telling us about this? We’re your parents, for God’s sake! And you…you’re all teenagers! All of you! You’re too young to deal with things like that on your own. Oh my god. Government agencies and enemies from outer space! Where was your head, Liz? How on earth did you come to the conclusion that we – your parents – didn’t need to know about this?
“And the others! Honestly, I really didn’t expect anything else from Maria, or Max for that matter, but Alex? Isabel? Do none of you have even a spark of common sense left in your heads? And Jim! Just wait till I get my hands on him. I’ll give him a piece of my mind he won’t so soon forget.”
I just stare at my mom. I don’t know where all that came from. It’s almost like she’s setting all her pent-up emotions free. Helplessly I look at my dad. I don’t know how to handle my mom when she’s freaking out.
He finally interrupts her, patting her hand. “Nancy…Nancy, calm down.”
“Calm down? Calm down? I am not calming down! Did you even listen to your daughter? Did you hear what she just told us? She ran away from the FBI! She was shot at! She jumped off a bridge! And I’m supposed to calm down?”
Mom’s voice is getting shriller with sentence, sounding almost hysterical by the time she’s done.
“Mom, you’re right,” I interrupt her, frantically looking for a way to shut her up. “I should have told you earlier, and I’m sorry that I didn’t. It was too much for us to handle on our own. You’re completely right. It’s just…Max had this paranoia that his parents would hate him if they found out the truth about him, and so he ordered complete secrecy. Nobody was allowed to say anything to anybody, no matter what.”
Now my mom looks even more outraged. “He ordered you not to tell anybody? And you listened? You just did what he told you to do? Is this how I raised my daughter?! To bow to a man’s asinine wishes instead of using her own head and doing what common sense dictates?” Then she just gaps at me as if she couldn’t believe it.
“That’s not the way it was,” I protest. “Not exactly,” I add. “If I was convinced that I was doing the right thing, I did it, no matter what Max said. But telling you…I just wasn’t sure how you’d react. I guess a part of me was scared that you wouldn’t, you know, accept it. That you would…I don’t know. That something would change.”
My parents look appalled now, both of them. And hurt. My father is the first to speak. “Liz, we’re your parents. We love you. Nothing will ever change that. End of story. We thought you knew that.”
My mom nods in agreement and I sigh. “I do know that,” I tell him, and I mean it. “At least now I do. Realizing that is a big part of why I finally told you the truth. That and the fact that I owed you the truth. I’m sorry for what I put you through these past weeks. I really am. I shouldn’t have run away like that.” I’m close to tears now. I still can’t believe the hell I put my parents through. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
My mom puts her hand on mine, squeezing it gently. “You could have talked to us about it, Liz. You should have. You should have told us what was happening to you. We would have found a way to help you.”
“I know, mom. I know. I was just so messed up back then. Alex’s death and Max’s behavior and…everything. My life was falling apart. I wasn’t thinking straight. I wasn’t thinking at all, actually. It was all too much for me to handle. All I wanted was to get away from it all, from this town where everything had so many memories attached to it. Where everything hurt me so much.
“It was stupid, I know. But running away seemed like the perfect solution back then. Of course, running away never solves anything. I know that now. Knew it back then, too, I guess. I was just…”
“Too messed up?” my dad finishes for me.
I nod, almost smiling. “Yeah.”
“Liz,” my mom begins. “We know how hard you took Alex’s death, especially now that we know the whole story. And with everything else that was going on, it’s hardly surprising that you had to get away. We would have very much liked to be informed of that decision beforehand, but we understand how desperate and unhappy you must have been, and so we’ll cut you some slack. Just don’t do it again,” she tells me, my dad nodding in agreement.
I smile at my parents. This is so much more than I deserve. “I won’t. Promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.”
-------
After the talk with my parents, I’m exhausted. My dad goes down and gets the rest of my belongings out of my bike. He doesn’t say anything about my choice of transportation, but that’s bound to come sooner or later.
The things Michael took with him are already in my room, put back in the place where they belong. Probably my mom’s doing.
It doesn’t take long until my parents say good night and go to bed. They’re exhausted as well, obviously. The Crashdown is going to stay closed tomorrow, we’re going to spend a family day together. Just the three of us, like in old times. I can’t wait.
I get ready for bed as well, intending to follow their example. But my mind is too restless for sleep to come, despite my body’s exhaustion. And so I crawl out onto my balcony. It’s been three months since I left, and yet it looks exactly the way I left it. Everything is in its place. And it’s clean. No dirt, no fallen leaves, no mess. My parents must have kept it clean, along with my room. Always prepared for my return.
I smile softly. Being home feels good. I missed my parents. I just wished I hadn’t had to leave so much behind.
Then I settle down in my lawn chair.
August 18th. Journal entry seventy-six. I’m Liz Parker and I’ve never been happier. Or sadder. But I’m breathing. I’m living again. Finally…
Chapter: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43
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